Dating apps make their money on people’s romantic hopes, dreams, fantasies, and delusions.
Here’s what they don’t want you to know.
Romantic Relationship Growth in Four Chapters
(Sorry, Life Won’t Allow You To Skip Chapters. You Are Here To Grow and Mature.)
Chapter 1 – You attract re-enactments of your childhood wounding, i.e. an unavailable alcoholic, a controlling mother, etc.
You wonder why life is doing this to you. Where are all the available men? Where are all the good women? When will I be loved?
Chapter 2 – You continue to attract replicas of your history but you are starting to respond in other ways besides victimhood.
You recognize that the universe is out to heal you by helping to bring your unresolved feelings and issues to the surface for resolution, and to give you the opportunity to complete with your past by learning to respond differently, i.e. instead of silently trembling in the dark or acting out in punitive ways (childhood responses), the adult learns to speak up directly and set boundaries or walk away from abusive situations.
Chapter 3 – You attract someone who is mostly different from your past but has the potential to act the part if driven in that direction. They become an occasional replica of your history, giving you plenty of practice in responding in other ways besides the limited choices available in childhood.
Chapter 4 – You attract someone who is not at all like your controlling mother or your absent father and you occasionally project your childhood story on to them and work through the feelings without full blown suffering and constant drama. What’s relationship about then? It’s about giving and receiving love, celebrating life together, and serving the earth with your feet on the ground.
The Gift of Grief: Fully mourning what you didn’t get in childhood moves you through the chapters and prepares you to be an adult who can bring adult needs and realistic expectations to a relationship.
The Gift of Intimate Relationship: It will bring you face to face with your unresolved childhood pain until your grief work is completed.
Dating apps want you to believe in luck, fate, and magic. Welcome to reality.
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