There is a Puerto Rican restaurant near me called Soul Food. It’s so popular that for lunch and dinner there is a line around the block just to get in, seven days a week.

I’ve been told that to come to earth at this time, there is a long line of souls waiting to get in. Apparently there is some Soul Food here that you can’t get anywhere else.

Some souls are rather new here, and are craving the spice of variety. They are busy sampling the vast contrast of dishes only available at this restaurant.

You will find them trying everything, from the Suffering Salad Supreme to the Millionaire Macaroni, from the Co-Codependent Casserole, to the Narcissistic Nachos.

By the way, if you are partaking of the Narcissistic Nachos in this lifetime, please take another selfie and post it here, so we can applaud the great job you, and only you, are doing!

Some souls who may have consumed a few too many Narcissist Nachos in a past dining experience are here now trying to balance it all out by with some Empathy Egg Rolls.

Unfortunately, they also are prone to snacking on too much Guilt Guacamole, an appetizer that can so ruin your appetite, you may just miss the vast array of main courses available to you.

Guilt Guacamole can’t be properly digested, so it ends up being projected out of the system and onto others.

The solution, of course, are Forgiveness Frittatas. But please help yourself to them first, as so many spiritual folks go around sharing Forgiveness Frittatas with others, forgetting to feed themselves.

Note that both Narcissistic Nachos and Guilt Guacamole can cause acute inflammation of the ego. So does Unworthiness Udon and Arrogance Artichokes, of which you must peel many layers just to get to the heart.

The dishes above can lead to a belief that there is no loving Head Chef behind the scenes helping to cook all of this up for you.

Also, they can aggravate the belief that your menu options are severely limited, and that you must be on a restricted diet at all times.

Some souls have allergic reactions to love, fun, joy, compassion for others, compassion for themselves, playfulness, patience, resting in peace (no, you don’t have to reach your expiration date to try that), ease, hope, passion, and more.

All these allergies can drive you nuts, and to top that off, you may be allergic to nuts!

In fact, some of you actually might have sensitivity to the ingredients in these metaphors, the cool glass of Levity Lemonade I am sharing with you now.

If you are noticing you are breaking out into a rash of seriousness, please stop drinking this immediately and consult your inner physician.

But no matter what you tend to believe limits your choices, every dish you order up in the Great Buffet is always and forever prepared with great care by the Great Chef for your soul’s benefit, and served to you with a benevolent smile.

Here are some more culinary tips.

While Divorce Dumplings may be extremely hard to swallow, they are excellent at cleansing your colon of what accumulates by eating too much Compromise Casserole. Dishes like Divorce Dumplings, as well as Boiled Bankruptcy Brussel Sprouts, may not taste so good going down, but that’s OK. There purpose is to prepare your palate for far more pleasing plates of possibilities.

Cleansing your palate can take longer than you want on this planet, and that is why I always recommend my students learn to practice Patience Paella, which, though it takes forever to prepare, once it is in your system, it makes every dish you eat far more pleasurable, making even just the anticipation of food a joy. You can take great pleasure in the smell the aroma of your heart’s most delicious desires cooking in the creative kitchen.

In fact, you can have a party in your head just from knowing it is all coming to your table in the Great Chef’s perfect timing.

Patience Paella is something you may want to have at every meal to help you savor your food, not just gobble it down while thinking about when the next dish will be arriving.

And with Grubhub and DoorDash, the Ask and it is Given delivery service is working as fast as possible to get your soul food to your doorstep.

Don’t forget to tip the driver with your gratitude for each meal, especially the meals that are part of the Great Cleanse, foods specifically designed to purge from your system old food that has past its expiration date.

All souls presently here have agreed to participate in the Great Cleanse, which is both personal and global. You can’t opt out or delete it from your inbox.

One of the greatest cleansing agents available on the planet today is the Romantic Relationship Radicchio. Everyone knows it tastes fabulous going down, but not everyone realizes that after the Honeymoon Salad, it does its job perfectly by bringing to the surface past emotional pain and trauma so the Great Cleanse can happen. This part is not always tasty, as colonics are not always fun.

If you are single, hopefully you are avoiding the Self Pity Pasta Party and are instead busy feasting on the gluten free Self Love Spaghetti, served with Taking your Time Tomato Sauce, which, of course, can’t be cooked in a microwave.

The only thing that can be cooked in a microwave without losing it’s soul is Instant Gratification Granola, a mediocre but adequate dish if you are young, or a workaholic.

I tell my culinary clients that if you’re too busy to cook up a meal with love and care, then maybe you are too busy.

Not that they listen.

Most people are too busy being too busy, going about the feast as if there is not enough time, not enough money, and even not enough love to relax and experience the abundance of living on this amazing planet.

This, my friends, is a tragedy, as we are here to feast on what’s fresh, not simply gobble up leftovers.

So why all this busyness? Too many SSSK’s, that’s why!

Skewered Scarcity Shish Kabobs come from an old, outdated Puritan family recipe, and can be replaced with unlimited slices of Prosperity Pie when you are ready.

There is no rush.

Your graduation from fast food to gourmet meals always happens at the right and perfect time.

Some souls are here not just here to sample everything from the buffet, but to consciously sift through the choices and use their free will to carve out what they actually want to be served.

These are the souls who have had enough Victim Vermicelli, and are using their noodles to refine their taste buds, and to order the gourmet dishes in the self-care section of the menu, eating the dishes they find wholesome and heart healthy, dishes they can digest well without heartburn.

Finishing your plate of Victim Vermicelli once and for all does not have anything to do with practicing and adding the Coleslaw of Attraction to your meals, which can lead to quite a case of Abraham Hick-ups! It has everything to do with how you digest and learn from whatever meal is being served you.

Gourmet meals that are free of Victim Vermicelli usually start by serving others your personal recipe of Boundaries Baba Ghanoush, which can come in handy at all shared meals, especially when you are dining with relatives.

BBG does not go down well at first, and it can actually make you crave some Guilt Guacamole, but if you keep on dishing it out, BBG will cleanse the Guilt Guacamole from your system, and leave you free to finally eat foods from your heart’s menu, pleasing your soul’s taste buds at last.

Boundaries Baba Ghanoush can be prepared the best by combining three dished together:

The first is No Nigiri. When dishing out your No Nigiri to partners, relatives, and others that you may have served up too many People Pleasing Pancakes for, it is also common that you serve it up with some Hostile Habanero Hot sauce that you may have been marinating in over some time.

Obviously, they won’t like it served that way, and they will do everything they can to get you to take it back to the kitchen.

But in time, and often with the help of a Culinary Coach such as myself, you will learn to prepare your No Nigiri with an equal helping of Kindness Casserole, which then means you are ready to enjoy your delicious and healthy Yes Yogurt.

Every No Nigiri you make in the kitchen has Yes Yogurt inside it, waiting for dessert time.

To put this into a wrap, the secret to creating amazing Boundaries Baba Ghanoush is to combine No Nigiri with Kindness Casserole, find the Yes Yogurt, and try to avoid the Hostile Habanero Hot sauce.

Partaking of Forgiveness Frittatas will not only help reduce your cravings for Guilt Guacamole, but will help eliminate the two other most trending fast foods on earth today:

Resentment Ravioli and Revenge Ratatouille, which, if you are going to eat, is a dish best served cold.

Fun Fact: You don’t actually eat these two dishes. They eat at you!

By the way, eating Forgiveness Frittatas without offering your Boundaries Baba Ghanoush create a dining experience where you are going to have to constantly eat more Forgiveness Frittatas over and over again, and that can get boring.

Always follow your F.F. with B.B. End of story.

Well, not quite. I hope you are not too full yet.

Some of us are here, not so much to learn to order from the menu more consciously and please our palates more prosperously, but to help usher in a brand-new buffet experience for humanity, some heavenly dishes that taste out of this world.

In fact, eventually, the Soul Food Buffet will be closing its doors, and re-opening as the Heaven on Earth Cafe. For more on this, look for the signs as they appear, follow your heart’s GPS, and always consult your inner doctor.

And for God’s sake, practice regular intermittent fasting from Media Macaroni so you can actually hear your Soul Siri give you directions.

I don’t know about you, but at this point I feel stuffed. Maybe I shared a few too many Wisdom Waffles, but I hope I didn’t pour on too much Corny Syrup for you.

At least I used non GMO Corny.

PS. I actually relate to all of these metaphors, as if I have lived many lifetimes in this present life. I’ve tasted it all. How about you?

What are you currently dining on at the Soul Food Buffet?

PPS. Many of us like to simplify the food choices available on this planet by realizing that we really only choose from two meals at every moment: fear or love.

If you are like me and have developed an allergy to fear, you may want to avoid three dishes that are being marketed as love, but are really just different flavors of fear in disguise.

1. Worry Watermelon – Promoted as containing Vitamin C in two forms, Caring and Concern, it actually is the pits! WW is ingested by the mind and quickly spreads fear throughout the body.

Fortunately, following this fruit by eating some Trust Tacos will wash the Worry Watermelon down the digestive drain.

2. Doubt Donuts – Marketed as containing essential amounts of logic, intelligence and reason, these trains of thought have holes in them, and temporarily clog up your Intuitive Intestines.

Eat more Trust Tacos. end of story.

3. Shame Shadowcake – Promoted as high in humility, this form of fear was grown long ago in a garden called eden, and drives the sales of most beauty and weight loss products, as well as makes plastic surgeons and CEO’s of pharmaceutical companies very wealthy.

Shame Shadowcake is the only dessert that actually tastes bad going down. Why, then, do we continue to eat it? And more importantly, how do we stop eating it, since it eats us alive!

If you would like to reduce, or even eliminate Shame Shadowcake from your diet, you may want to work with a therapist/healer/life coach kind of dietician, someone like me, perhaps.

I’m just sayin’!

In any case, Bon Appetite, and please, always eat with gratitude for the feast. Gratitude is the soul’s probiotic.

(If you liked the food in this article, please share it with others, and order more at scottsongs.com. Also, I welcome your foodback so I can make it even more delicious.)