I am chipping away at an old, unhealthy habit that drains my energy and wastes my time. It’s the addiction to getting validation, attention, and appreciation from others, whether it be here on Facebook, hits and comments on YouTube, or in my relationships.
Yes, I get a little dopamine hit each time, but the energy behind my actions carry desperation and a hunger that can never be satisfied.
Gradually I am taking steps each day to wean myself away from acting like I can get the nourishment I need from outside myself.
Instead of beating myself up for being needy, I am offering compassion to the wounded child within, and letting my old habit fall away on its own, because I’m committed and busy building a a healthy habit: Appreciating myself. so much so that my constant mind chatter is mostly positive.
I notice that whenever I try to get it from without, I get enough for a moment or two, and then it is not enough. My hunger comes back.
The hunger comes from trauma, a frozen part of me that can only unthaw in the presence of my own love.
This is shifting gradually, as I work with a coach who helps me go deep with EFT, and also do tapping each day on the source of my childhood trauma, chipping away at the ice.
My other tool is to meditate deeply, going past both positive and negative mind chatter and go deep into the silence. I empty myself of all thoughts about myself, bask in the void, and allow the universe to fill me with unconditional love, and that’s when I realize that I am, always was, and always will be, valid, innocent, and worthy in my beingness, because I exist eternally as the presence of love.
If you relate to any of this, join me in tapping out that tendency to crave external validation, and tap into validating, appreciating, and loving yourself instead.