By Scott Grace

Ah, the holiday season is upon us, a time when Mother Nature draws us inward and Mother Culture draws us shopping. What will it be this year? Will you pass through the holidays unconsciously, in a frenzy of obligation, hurry and adrenaline, or will you let yourself slow down and take it easy like the rest of the natural world is doing at this time of year? I feel committed to staying attuned to the inward call of winter soulstice and the corresponding needs of my soul…to slow down the pace, nurture my beingness and replenish the well within.

A close friend of mine has a birthday that is celebrated in December, although he was really born in July. He is somewhat of a celebrity, a cultural icon that most civilized folks know of, admire and sometimes feel intimidated by. He has been a regular in the supermarket tabloids for two thousand years, even before supermarkets were invented. I’ve noticed, like with many Hollywood stars, people make him out to be larger than life. They put him on a pedestal, somehow hoping that his life can save theirs, and like to fixate over the minute details of what he said and did. His stage name is Jesus, but his friends from the old neighborhood call him Jeshua Ben Joseph.

The most famous role of his career has been Prince of Peace, Savior of the World. (When writing the script, the Director realized that the part was far too big to be given to just one, so he cast every human being to star equally in the role. Alas, most people are so convinced they’re not worthy of an audition, they don’t realize they got the part!) Jeshua, after retiring from show business in a glorious spectacle of emotion, now works tirelessly behind the scenes, whispering lines to the rest of the cast. He guides his fellow performers to choose peace over drama, love over stage fright, and comedy over tragedy. He nudges us, when we finally become willing to listen to a director other than our egos, to step into our appointed roles and play our parts to the max.

Jeshua does not appreciate the Academy of Christianity giving him the Oscar year after year for Best Savior. He would much rather share the statue with Moses, Buddha, The Dalhi Lama, Oprah Winfrey, Robin Williams, me and you. And he would rather not have so much fuss made over him. In a recent and rare appearance on Letterman, Jeshua had this to say: “David, people get the wrong idea about me. I just want to give the world a Peace of my mind! That’s all. I didn’t ask for all these religions to spring up and make such a big deal of it all. I’m basically a simple, down-to-earth kind of guy. In fact, I came down to earth to spread joy! Just like everyone, I’ve had a few moments here and there on the cross, but I’ve laughed far more that I’ve suffered. Please tell those churches to take all those pictures of me off their walls. How would you like it if they framed you having a horrendous hair day and decided that was the image the world should remember you by? Oh, and another thing: if people want to celebrate my birthday, I’d like to see them giving each other more presence! Simply being present with an open heart is the greatest gift you can give another. Slow down, ease up on the material madness and get into the spirit of the holidays. And for Christ’s sake (literally speaking), lighten up! Life is too eternal to be taken seriously!”

Thrilled that Jesus was speaking so freely, David encouraged him to continue. Jeshua got excited, “People think of me as not having political ties, but actually I’m quite politically active. I’m pro-choice, pro life, and anti-right. That’s right, anti-right! I want people, all people, to give up this business of being right and to focus on compassion. And another thing…” At that point David had to interrupt and break for some commercials.

When they got back on the air Jeshua asked if he could have a minute for his own commercial. An 800 number flashed across the screen and Jesus explained that this was his new pager number, a modern way for humanity to call him up and fire away a question, concern or prayer. He can answer over ten billion calls at the same time! Explaining further, he said, “Traditional churches lead people to believe that to be close to me you have to pay money and have exclusive membership in their club. I want everyone to know it’s easier than you think. In fact, it’s what you think that makes it hard! Just try this: close your eyes, take some breaths, get quiet inside, and dial 1-800-ASK-JESUS. I’ll call you right back. Don’t worry, I’ve already got your number, and my dial-up speed is faster than DSL and cable combined. But you’ve got to believe you are worthy of having a connection with me. Otherwise, there will be too much static on your end, and there will appear to be a receiver off the hook. If that happens, remind yourself to open your heart to receiving, and repeat the call. If you ever get a busy signal, you are the one that’s too busy. As I’ve said once or twice before, I am with you always. And I can afford to keep my promises. I’m not running for anything!”

Scott Grace plays golf with Jesus and bowls with Buddha. He would like to appear on Letterman someday, but for now appears at

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