I just stumbled upon a humor piece I wrote in 1990 that made me laugh till I cried. You have to be familiar with A Course in Miracles to really get it.
I suggest reading it out loud in a deadpan serious tone.
Let me know in the comments section how it landed, and whether or not you were able to keep a straight face.
A Course In Multi-Level Marketing
From the introduction:
“This is a course in Multi-Level Marketing. It is a required course. Free will does not mean you can live your entire life without joining an MLM. It does mean that you can elect when you finally succumb to the hype and what company you join.
This Course does not aim at making you filthy rich, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at the removal of the blocks to the awareness that you deserve your own private plane, which is your natural inheritance.
This Course, can therefore be summed up like this:
My mega-success is never threatened. My bankruptcy does not exist.
Herein lies your piece of the action.”
Workbook lessons include:
In my intensity my safety lies.
I will step back and let my upline lead the way.
I am sustained by the love of my products.
I am upset because I have been using other products.
These other products do not mean anything.
I will not value what is valueless (these other products).
The Text covers such subjects as:
A) Special Relationships- How to let go of thinking your products are merely special and promote them as Holy.
B) Debt- How to handle the illusion of debt when your attempts to go full time with your MLM l business fail. The course teaches that there is no debt. The Son Of God is Debt- Free!
From The Manual For Sellers
How many products does it take to save the world?
The answer, of course, is only one – the product taking up the most space in your garage.
Should selling be repeated?
Yes, of course! Repeat your sales pitch until your potential buyer either joins the company, buys a ton of product, or files a restraining order.
This course is currently sweeping the world and was started by two professors at Columbia University, tired of their meager salaries, who joined forces while sharing the thought, “There has got to be a better pay.”
There are many lively discussions of the work, especially on Facebook. The original work was edited by Dr. Kenneth Wapnick, who many now believe was a major asshole.
Other versions followed, along with many teachers of the course, who some believe are false prophets who don’t help your profits.
Apparently, true teachers of this course have no affiliation to a particular network marketing company.
David Hoffmeister is one whom, while putting himself out as a pure teacher, turned out to be a secret Amway distributor.
True students of the course attempt to practice forgiving these false teachers, realizing, as the Course says, “You teach what you need to earn.”
