At a Course In Miracles Conference in 1993, I had gone to my room to take a nap, and suddenly was awakened by a powerful surge of guidance to go straight down to Tom Carpenter’s workshop. Tom channeled Jeshua Ben Joseph, our elder brother and my most trusted teacher.

I was excited!

I didn’t often receive what felt like inner direction to go somewhere so clearly. I assumed I was going to get some pearls of wisdom to assist me in my life.

I walked into the room, and Tom (Jeshua) was fielding questions. I held my hand high, and he met my eyes immediately.

“Do you have a message for me?” I asked. “I was woken up in the middle of my nap and told to get down here right away.” I waited for his guidance, opening my heart and mind for pearls to come forth.

“Why do you assume that you were awakened because you had a message to receive? What if it’s because you had a message or a gift to give?”

I had no reply. His words floored me. Jesus was inviting me to to give up this business of seeking, and instead, be about my Father’s Business.

This I was not ready for. In fact, everything inside me was prepared to procrastinate for at least several more lifetimes. Seeking God wasn’t just a noble quest, it had become an addiction.

As Swami Beyondananda famously preached: “There’s a seeker born ever minute.”

But oh how attached I was to being the student.

Releasing the perception of myself as seeker has not happened overnight. My ego is so quick to jump in and present evidence in the courtroom that makes a case for my inadequacies. When I lend the power of my belief to such self-prosecution, I proceed from the mistaken premise that there is some hole to be filled.

My seeking has led me to all kinds of teachers, methods, practices, books and workshops. I regret none of these life experiences, for they all have broadened me as a person.

But I am the only one who can say, “OK, you have officially graduated from the school of seeking. You now are a powerful being, whole and complete, with permission to extend your gifts and uplift the world.”

Dr. Donald Epstein, founder of Network Chiropractic, reminds his students to set goals not for what they want to get in life, but for what they want to give. When I set my sights on the gifts I want to give, I magnetize all that I need from the universe to take the next step, and each step after that.

I used to believe that I must become perfect, or close to it, before I can offer myself to God and to the world. Now, although I still have an inner critic, I have fired him as my guidance counselor. I have learned to listen to a wiser and far more loving guide within me.

It may seem outrageous and maybe even a little arrogant to behold yourself as whole, capable and good enough just as you are, but there is no humility in the comfort of a wheelchair when you have been given the power to walk.

If you dare to start living as if there is nothing wrong with you, life will meet your dare and put you to work. And in doing God’s work, you will be far too busy and happy to spend another moment seeking for someone or something to wake you up.

We have been napping, you and I, and we have been dreaming a frightening dream. In our nightmare it seemed that we were broken, and now we are waking up to the truth that we are quite whole and holy beings, warts and all.

This is a quantum leap, the end of original sin and the opening of the gates to heaven on earth. Please do not wait another moment for permission to enter. It’s your own consent you have been waiting for.

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