”Love is the cure, for your pain will keep giving birth to more pain until your eyes constantly exhale love as effortlessly as your body yields its scent.”
I’ve had a few significant spiritual teachers in my lifetime, but only one I got to play tennis with.
I met Marcela when she came to me for a song session. I was very honored, as she was a well-known healer in the San Diego area with her own reputable ‘School of Healership’, and she was coming to see me. She knew the transformative power of music, and wanted her own personal song so she could sing it to her inner child. From that session we took a walk on the beach. From that walk we made a date to play tennis.
Marcela was the recipient of some severe physical and sexual abuse as a child, which motivated her to learn everything she could about healing. She was from Prague, Czechoslovakia, and was once a tennis player on the pro circuit. In her prime, she was seeded 51st in the world. When I met her she was approaching sixty, almost twice my age, and yet she easily whipped my butt on the court. In fact, I did not win a game. Not minding the lopsided score, I asked her if she would play me again, and we did. Many times. We always played at least one set, and, with the exception of one time when she was sluggish from a cold, she always whipped my butt. My game improved tremendously in her presence, and I felt lucky to be on the court with her.
The contrast between us was very telling. I huffed and puffed to get each ball, worked up a good sweat, and ended our matches deliriously spent. She breezed through each moment, gracefully moving without struggle, like a cross between a classical dancer and a disciplined Zen meditator. I asked her once how she made it look so easy. ”Scott, you value effort, and pride yourself on it. I value ease and grace, and over the course of many years and much practice, have become an embodiment of what I value.”
One evening Marcela came to one of my concerts. A few days later we were having lunch after tennis, and she asked me if I would like some feedback about my performance. I said yes, excited that Marcela had seen me in action doing something I do really well, and anticipating spoonfuls of praise. ”Scott, there is a part of you still craving approval, and you pull and drain energy from the audience unconsciously while you are entertaining them. I could feel you needing something from us, your audience, your fans, something that we could not and should not give. And when we applauded and appreciated you after each song, you didn’t really let it in. Your belief in your own unworthiness blocked it. Your body tensed up, your breath became shallow. And that’s not surprising. There’s a wound there, and if you heal it, you will become a much better performer, and a much happier human being.”
Humble pie was the main dish served when hanging out with Marcela, both on and off the court. My inner guidance nudged me to have a session with her, to see if she could assist me with my issues as well as she could see and name them. So I did.
After the first, which was quite helpful, I began having weekly sessions with her. She did bodywork, shamanic work, emotional release work, psychic work, inner child healing, re-parenting, and life coaching, all rolled into these amazing sessions. Gradually I let myself trust and open to her power, quite a scary thing for me, since I had such an overpowering mother. And so, Marcela became somewhat of a guide to me – a healer, a mentor, and yes, a spiritual teacher.
Marcela knew the thing I most wanted in my life was more intimacy, especially in the form of a life partner. A great deal of our work together focused on bringing to the surface and clearing the fears, blocks and beliefs I harbored in regards to letting in love. ”Scott, right now, as much as your conscious mind wants intimacy, on a deeper heart level, you push away love and partnership more than you welcome it. Your inner child is somewhat frozen in there, waiting for the warmth of your own loving to thaw himself out. Before you can let somebody else in, you need to let yourself in first.” I had heard that many times, even uttered the words myself to others, but this time I was ready to walk the walk, and not just talk the talk.
Marcela suggested I start collecting and sleeping with stuffed animals. Boy, did I have resistance to that! Marcela’s office was filled with large, flamboyant, colorful stuffed animals, and now she was trying to pass the disease on to me! I guess I had some judgments about adults playing with child’s toys, judgments that were a clever cover by my ego to mask my fear of becoming vulnerable. But I did start a collection, one that I grew to love, as I grew to love the child inside me through Marcela’s guidance.
My four-year old daughter is currently quite happy with my colorful collection of soft, inviting creatures. I am so glad I am passing on my cuddly animals to her, and not my unworthiness, fear of suffocation, and resistance to being loved. Through my work with Marcela, gradually I began to thaw out and soften, and my heart became more spacious, open, and available for intimacy. Venus, my life partner, entered the scene as if on cue. I had no doubt that the work I was doing with Marcela played a big part in that.
Soon after we began dating, Venus and I had dinner with Marcela. I felt as if our new relationship received a mitzvah, the love and blessings of my teacher. Soon after that, we lost touch as she moved to Oregon, and I moved to the Bay Area to start a life with Venus. A month ago I found out that Marcela Flekova made her transition. I’ve been filled with both sadness and gratitude. I trust she is continuing to glide through life with ease and grace, the ease and grace she lived while inside a body, the ease and grace she passed on to me and countless others.
I’ll never forget Marcela on the tennis court, hitting each ball powerfully and purposefully, without aggression, strain or struggle, radiating effortless effort, power versus force.
Marcela taught by example, without dogma. I consider myself blessed to have hung out with her, and to have had the wisdom and willingness to recognize and receive her as a teacher. When the student is ready, the teacher appears, ready to serve. Tennis, anyone?
Scott Grace is an intuitive life coach that has a blast playing Santa Claus all year ’round and giving away complementary thirty minute sessions. For info click on: https://www.scottsongs.com/pages/coaching_councelling.html, or say hello at email@example.com or 415 721 2954 to schedule a session. In addition, he is the author of the book, Teach Me How To Love, a True Story that Touches Hearts and Helps with the Laundry! Check it out at Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Teach-Me-How-Love-Touches/dp/061549210X/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top or buy the book with a 17 song CD of Scott’s music in the back at: https://www.scottsongs.com