I’ve been on a cleanse. I’m two months in.
Candida and parasites have been the issue, at least on the surface.
There are deeper issues, emotionally speaking.
The herbs and the prescribed diet are working, and I am gradually feeling more peace in my belly.
I’m eating some basic things. Each day the mainstays are kitchari and scrambled eggs, avocado, broccoli, cauliflower, chickpeas, other assorted veggies, and some chicken and fish here and there.
For snacks, it’s flax seed crackers and hummus, with a treat every few days of cacao powder, ground up stevia leaf, and fresh coconut meat. (I’m in Mexico.)
No sugar of any kind including fruit, nothing processed, no gluten, miso, soy, etc. etc. etc.
Did I say etc.?
BORING!
Silver lining: Not only am I reclaiming my health, I notice that ever so gradually I am releasing a certain set of beliefs around food.
I remember my mother expressing the most love and nurturing when she cooked for me and my sisters. Food and love were forever married in my young mind.
Oh, I almost forgot! Guilt and food were pretty tight as well.
“Clean your plate, Scott. Finish your food. There are children starving in Africa.”
That’s what I was told as a youngster.
As an older-ster, I am presently still eating past the point of satisfaction, still ‘cleaning’ my plate, but within the candida diet protocols.
It’s a programmed pattern of behavior that disconnects me from my deeper needs, like filling the gas tank to the top and then letting it overflow generously onto the vehicle and the floor.
It slows me down. It adds weight to my body and numbs the emotional weight that I carry, which comes from the absence of self-soothing self-talk and really listening to and honoring my inner child, meeting my emotional needs.
But I am making progress. Lots and lots of progress.
Since I moved to Mexico I’ve given up eating lunch.
That was a huge step for me, confronting my belief that one should always eat three square meals a day.
But the truth is, I still eat when I’m not hungry.
I’d like that to change.
My sense is I eat out of a belief in scarcity, perceiving love, food, money, etc. as if there was not enough, never enough, and so I best grab and gobble what I can.
I stuff my face, so I don’t have to face my stuff.
Changing my food habits, eating slower and more mindfully, breathing deeply in between bites, scares me in all kinds of ways.
I know the more I learn to soothe and nurture myself in new and healthy ways, the more I will sever the emotional bond I made in my childhood between food and love.
I know that willpower is not needed, just an abundance of love power.
I thank God for sending me the angels candida and parasites.
There was no way I would’ve come to this path of conscious eating willingly.
Could it be that the universe sends us nothing but angels?
Apply that frame of reference to any addiction or challenge you may be dealing with, and chew on it till it digests.
It’s a very empowering and pro-biotic way to approach life.
