Do you, like me, sometimes forget that you have valuable things to offer others, bright radiant things that we might keep under a bushel until we learn to value ourselves? If so, this one’s for you…
Recently a friend asked me if I knew of a good counselor for some friends of his that were going through relationship challenges. I told him nobody crossed my mind, but I’d get back to him if someone did.
How could I forget?
A week later I remembered, and called him back.
I remembered that I was quite good at working with couples. He told his friends about me and we had an excellent first session.
Why didn’t I initially toot my own horn?
Because a little voice I call the inner critic, who sometimes I listen to as if it were my counselor, told me that because I am not currently in a relationship and because I don’t have a traditional degree on my wall, nor an office, that I’m not qualified.
Never mind that I have been coaching individuals and couples since 1989!
The truth is I have qualifications coming out of my ears. Most recently a few years of study at Aesclepion Intuitive Training Institute in the Bay Area, and in the 1980’s a decade of training and assisting at the Loving Relationships Training in NYC, not to mention thirty years of working on myself diligently in therapy and many other modalities, which I believe, is the best qualification there is.
From taking the Clairvoyant Training at Aesclepion I learned tools to tune into people, to not take on their energies, to see their auras and chakras, and to maintain a balance point between compassion and detachment. I learned about staying grounded, and I learned how to become aware of when my own issues were being activated, get out of my way, and really be there to assist.
How did I forget?
After graduating from there I spent a few years putting myself out a psychic, and quickly got burned out. People wanted me to predict when and where they might meet a soulmate, or when they may run smack right into a pile of money. I did not see the value in reading possible futures for people.
For me there was no future in it!
The only thing I like to predict is that as we learn to stop holding hands with fear, exciting changes happen that are deliciously unpredictable. Who needs predictions, when you have personal power and a magical universe to play and prosper in?
If the use of my intuitive gifts does not lead to personal power, palpable progress and practical next steps, then, as they say from my home town of Brooklyn, Fuggetabouttit!
How did I forget? And how can I remember?
I do remember how much staying grounded was stressed in that clairvoyant school. It kind of stressed me out, how much staying grounded was stressed. I have to admit I never did care too much about being grounded.
What I want is to be happy, feet on the ground or not.
Perhaps I was grounded too much in my childhood!
I still use my intuitive gifts in sessions, but not to read the future. More to help people feel seen, honored, and not alone. Peekaboo, I see you, soul inside a body.
It’s a healing onto itself when people sense that I ‘get’ them.
Sometimes people come to a session tight-lipped, maybe to test me, maybe to build trust. They want me to tune in and tell them what I see and sense without volunteering anything about themselves, their desires or their challenges.
It’s a little scary sometimes.
Performance anxiety passes through my nervous system, but after a few breaths it leaves. And words and visions never fail to show up.
One time at a Psychic Fair a young man not even twenty plopped down on the chair in front of me and asked me to ‘read’ him. He refused to give me a specific topic to ‘look’ at. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his friends waiting outside the door. fidgeting, maybe even giggling. I imagined they dared him to get a reading, or they drew straws and he got the short one. I closed my eyes, got connected, and asked to be of service.
“I see you as a young Harry Potter type of person at Hogwarts Earth, taking a class in the Dark Arts, finding out all you can about how dark darkness can be. The class might be a current part of your curriculum, but it does define you. There’s nothing permanent about it. It’s just a course you are taking to gather some experiences. You will, when you are ready, come to the other side of this and graduate to more fulfilling curriculums and easier classrooms. You do have a part to play on earth, a juicy contribution to make. At some point you will ask yourself what you want to do to make a positive difference amidst all the madness you see around you. From there you will be inspired. From there you will find your way.”
I heard some sniffling and opened my eyes, happy to witness tears spilling over and softening his previously stiff facial expression. Having felt seen, he also felt much safer, and proceeded to ask me some pointed questions about his specific challenges. I was able to give him some practical, dare I say grounded guidance. He mumbled a few words of gratitude, then slipped away, back to his friends. I wondered what he told them.
How did I forget that I am here, part human, part angel, perfectly imperfect, and supremely qualified to make a difference?
And how can I remember, more consistently, that I’m good enough, warts and all.
It baffles my mind that just last week I forgot to mention to my friend that I was good at working with couples.
So glad I remembered.
Keeping silent about our gifts is not humility, nor is it wisdom.
It’s fear, plain and simple.
I will not be silent. I am here. And I am available.
“I Am Here To Be Truly Helpful”
-A Course in Miracles